I'm not leading this item with a question, as one would do when pretending to be some kind of philosopher. Which, I guess I'm also pretending to be. No point in denying it. But I don't think that philosophy is a dirty word. And I think everyone is entitled to a little reasoning now and then. I may not be poignant, articulate or technically well versed, but I am highly impassioned and stirring. At least to myself. And that is where the effects of my philosophy are most valuable, I believe. My mind is full to the brim with nonsensical worries, as I'm sure yours is as well. In my case, stuff from work mainly, but also complications in the things that I actually like doing for myself. The music, the writing, the sports, the meditations, you know... in everything. Complications are everywhere. And I can't for the life of me, understand why that is so. Let's be frank, we are not really complicated beings. Everythin
I lie to myself. Pretending I don’t care whether anything happens or not. That it’s ok if no reaction ensues. But that is a lie, and it is an outrageous one. I feel that there are inklings of moments at the questionable juncture of wayward emotions where nothing matters more than something coming through. A yes. A no. Any word would do. Like you, I am desperate for an echo, a result or a reverberation. I want an outcome. Something that supports my sterile sense of dimension and that allows me to keep drifting on this feeling. This feeling outside of life that at times feels like the only thing keeping me afloat. I know it is but a reflection that bears no resemblance to whatever I need. But wanting and needing are often unrelated and it turns out I need my wants as much as I need my needs. Some of these wants are underpinned with reality. Others are wanton and highly delusive. I’d settle for confirmation