The depression is hitting with full force now. Short days and long hours and no play-time. I can't believe the ongoing nagging and chatter in every room I step into. I’m pulling my hair out just to feel something other than the argumentations of progression I have been raising. My survival mode is so blatantly pathetic that I can only hate myself for it. Once more, I am a farce, making all the wrong choices, seeking all the wrong and easy answers with all the wrong people. It is all in me. Nowhere else. Empathy and compassion and my helping hands have become raping excuses. Deviant roads, stray freedoms and gore. Just gore.