I’m not doing anything.
And I could be.
You pointed out correctly
that the options are legion.
I could subscribe to any
of those thousands of
good and worthy causes
that lie scattered across the globe.
I could be picketing.
I could stop finding excuses.
I could stop holding back.
And stop pretending it all
has to be on my terms
in order to work.
Just as much as the masses
have proven to be a senseless blob
that doesn’t want to adapt
to our changing circumstances,
those smalls stabs at charity
have proven remedial at best,
especially and specifically
because of their distributed nature.
There is nothing that genuinely unifies.
And while I will raise my contribution
to one or more of the earnest causes
and launch my drop into the parched soil,
hoping for an ocean,
I will remain unsatisfied
in that larger expanse
of meaning and fulfilment
that should help us truly understand
and know each other better
and deeper.
This naïve illusion
that we call spiritual harmony
and which leads us to make
all of our life’s choices
in the larger light of the common good.
A pool of thoughts that expands beyond
the limits of our own species
to reach and cater the needs of all life
with a special focus on universal balance.
An arrogance that is nothing short
of what a prophet would proclaim
but free from those kinds of ambitions
and certainly free
from the revolting insanity
of all organised belief systems
that deeply contradict
all of those values.
A revolting string of organised religions
to which principles I’m very sure
none of your prophets
would subscribe to.
But where does that leave me?
What will I aspire to do?
And which outcome do I envision?
All very good
but also very human questions.
How the hell should I,
as the littlest of humans,
know the answers to questions
that outreach the grasp of all humans combined.
But that doesn’t make any of it
less necessary.
And I believe that deep down
I don’t care about the contours of the questions
or the comprehensiveness of the answers.
And I certainly don’t want to lose time
pursuing them.
I just feel, for myself,
that something vaguely along those lines
needs to be explored
for someone better and smarter
and less conflicted
to pick up where I have to leave it.
I don’t believe that striving
for something unimaginable
is a useless activity.